Carrying On After Death... Be An Encourager

Recently, I attended the funeral of an older gentleman my family has known for many years. He was my uncle's Father-In-Law. Known for his kindness and strength, this man left behind a host of family and friends who were devastated by the loss.

Devastated, but not without hope.

After the funeral, I wanted to take a few minutes to memorialize the service for my Aunt and Uncle and their children. I shared some more private thoughts with my cousin, and both she and my Aunt took time to write me back, not only to say thank you and to share the grieving that their hearts were enduring... but also to encourage me. Can you imagine? Taking time out of the sadness and heartache from loss to encourage someone else? I was overwhelmed by their words and felt so indebted to God for allowing such a gift of mercy. I definitely didn't deserve the nice things they said to me.

I was reminded of a similar situation this week.

Monday, March 22nd would have been Kate's 31st birthday. Kate was one of my very best friends in high school. Her family moved to our town during our tenth grade year, and on her first day, I saw her sitting alone at lunch and introduced myself. Not a day went by after that, for many many years, that we didn't talk. We were quick friends. We shared a lot of the same interests. Immediately, her family took me under their wings, as well. Her younger siblings were kind to me, and her parents were generous and caring. We shared a lot of experiences together, and I miss laughing with her.

During college, Kate got cancer and passed away. We had grown apart some during those couple of years mostly because of the distance. She was in college in South Carolina, and I was in Wake Forest, near Raleigh. We still talked on the phone some, and were growing accustomed to emails and infrequent visits and letters, but no matter what, she was special to me. Her family still probably doesn't know the ways they rescued me... the ways their persistent loving kindness toward me helped me keep my eyes on Jesus. They are a big part of my testimony when I share with people about how God changed me. Her death devastated me. She had fallen in love and been married only a short time when she died.

My college roommate and I traveled to Charlotte for the funeral service and burial. The sanctuary was packed with friends and loved ones from all over the place. Quiet sobs and gentle laughter surrounded us when the giant screens in the church scrolled through photographs of this precious life. After the service, we walked to the graveside for the burial. It was raining and I watched her parents, siblings, and new husband say goodbye to her for the last time.

I share all of this because before the service even ended, Kate's mother caught sight of me in the rain and she stood immediately and came to me to hug me and offer her umbrella... during the burial of her first-born. My friend that was with me was shocked and understood completely all the things that I had shared about this family. They were selfless. Serving me made her smile.

In times of grieving, God can use all sorts of ways to help heal your hurts.

If you are grieving, perhaps find someone to encourage in some way.

A note, a kind word, an umbrella in the rain...